5 ways to deal with a difficult co-worker

No matter how hard you try, it can be difficult to get along with everyone in the workplace. Maybe your colleague talks over you in meetings, or they're always on your back about deadlines. It could be that you just don't vibe well or have much in common.   

 Dealing with a difficult co-worker can test your patience, communication skills and ability to resolve conflict. But here's the thing: finding common ground and practical solutions is crucial if you want to maintain a positive work environment.   

Try these strategies to help you handle a difficult co-worker in a considered, respectful way.   

1. Identify what you find difficult  

Before exploring solutions, it’s helpful to identify a specific problem or set of issues. What exactly is difficult about your colleague's behaviour? Are they disrespecting your work, deflecting responsibility or ignoring your personal boundaries? How do their actions make you feel?  

“You may react emotionally or physically around them, which can make it difficult to collaborate and be productive”, says Justine Alter, organisational psychologist and Co-Director of Transitioning Well. 

“You might notice you feel anxious before having to deal with them, frustrated during collaboration or that you actively avoid working with them,” she says.  

2. Focus on common ground 

 Personal differences can lead to problems with co-workers.  

“In these situations, it’s best to think about what you do have in common, rather than honing in on differences,” says Alter. “Focus on shared goals and outcomes rather than personalities,” she advises. “Maintain professional boundaries to prevent emotional contagion and practice self-awareness about your personal triggers and reactions, so you can manage them when you do have to interact.” 

3. Minimise interactions, or manage them 

While it’s generally not possible to avoid a colleague completely, you may be able to reduce your direct exposure to them as long as it doesn’t affect your work. When you do have to interact with them, consider using communication techniques that reduce the chance of conflict.  

Alter suggests: 

• Scheduling conversations during low-stress periods  
• Addressing specific behaviours rather than character traits  
• Use ‘I’ statements to express how you feel without accusation  
• Listening actively to understand their underlying concerns or behaviours

4. Ask your manager for help  

Resist the urge to complain if you approach your manager for help. Instead, focus on outlining what helps you thrive at work – and how the situation with your co-worker is getting in the way.   

“If things are really tense, consider having a word with your manager about how this dynamic is affecting your work,” says Alter. “Avoid simply going to them and focusing solely on personality clashes.” 

“It can also help to document significant interactions with this colleague to refer back to,” says Alter. This is useful in any conversations you may have with management, as well as to pick up on patterns over time.  

5. Know your rights  

If the situation becomes very serious and remains unresolved, you can lodge an internal complaint with your manager or HR department. In extreme circumstances, there's also the option to lodge an external complaint with WorkSafe, explains Andrew Jewell from Jewell Hancock Employment Lawyers.   

 "Work through the levels of escalation as this gives you a better chance of resolution," he says. "Before any formal action, it’s a good idea to try and address the issue directly with the co-worker.” If it’s not possible to move forward with an internal complaint – or not successful – you could then look to an external option, Jewell says.  

Strategies focusing on avoiding and mending conflict can help you deal with a difficult co-worker and contribute to a positive work environment. If the situation escalates, look to your manager or HR team for extra support.